"OL' Blue." By Rick Perry

     "When I was a boy, I had a dog.  A huntin' dog, a coon huntin' dog to be exact.  He could sniff a coon even if it was 200 yards away.  His name was Ol' Blue and he was the best huntin' dog I ever seen.

     I spent alot of time with Ol' Blue when I was a child.  I considered him my best friend.  He was with me through my formative years and even when I was in my early teens.  It was around this time that Ol' Blue began to change.  He was gettin' old.

     Ol' Blue couldn't hunt anymore because he had bad hips and it hurt him to run.  Heck. it hurt him to walk.  His eyesight was so bad he couldn't see a coon if it was right in front of him.  He couldn't even smell very good anymore.  Things just kept getting worse with Ol' Blue until he couldn't even take care of himself.  He wasn't much good for anyone, even himself, so I made the decision to have him put down.

     Decisions like this are hard.  But, sometimes, they are for the best.  When something or someone have outlived their usefulness, they need to be put down.  In the end, it is better for all of us."

                                                                 

Republicans Pitch Jobs Plan: "Put Americans to Work Building Shanty Towns."

     The Republican Party have come out with what they call a two-for-one deal.  They pledge to not only put Americans back to work but also provide them with housing. 
     "Shack building will provide millions of jobs for out of work Americans." says House Speaker John Boehner.  "And then the poor bastards can live in them."
     When asked why Americans would want to live in such places Speaker Boehner had this to say:  "With the policies we Republicans hope to implement, the working and middle-classes will be decimated.  At least we are providing them with a place to stay."
     Fat-ass Rush Limbaugh says that once again the Republicans have proven they are the party of the people.  "We're giving them a place to stay for Christ's sake!  That's more than the Democrats have offered."
     Congressional Democrats could only shake their heads in disbelief.

Bat Party Reporting