Millions of people throughout the world disappeared yesterday in what is believed to be the Rapture. Ironically, no Evangelical Christians were taken.
"I don't understand it." said one Bible-thumper. "We ostracized people we were supposed to ostracize, we vilified people we were supposed to vilify, hell we burned witches for crying out loud. What do we have to do to get recognized by this guy."
The Pope (he didn't get taken either) issued a statement saying Evangelicals need to step up their harassment of non-Christians. "We need to assassinate more abortion providers and beat up more homosexuals. The Lord has sent us a message telling us we haven't terrorized enough non-believers." said the Pope.
Normal people were disappointed at the news Christians were still among us. "They're still here! Goddammit!" said one man on the street.
In related news, the Progressive Caucus was unable to convene today. None of their members could be found.
"I like your Christ but not your Christians" - Ghandi.
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